The first time I heard the song “Be Careful” by Cardi B there were two lines that stood out. I stopped the video and scrolled back a few seconds to listen again:
You even got me trippin’, you got me lookin’ in the mirror different
Thinkin’ I’m flawed because you inconsistent
I think a lot of us can relate. I’ve definitely questioned myself when someone was being inconsistent and not responding to me the similar way they always have. I’ve listened to friends go over the time line of a relationship and the inconsistency of their partner. This all leading to confusion. Wondering what we did wrong. Thinking there is something wrong with us.
Sometimes we focus on other people for our worth. When that person does not have our best interest in mind or if that person, while having good intentions, does not treat us the way we should be treated we can overanalyze and take things personally. People can be inconsistent -responding to messages immediately one week and then taking a few hours (or days) to respond the next. We can end up re-reading texts and wondering what we said or what we did that was wrong.
Like in the song, we may think we are flawed because someone is acting inconsistent. Instead, we should be staying true to ourselves, setting boundaries and encourage others to be consistent. We cannot control someone else and how consistent they are but we can control how consistent we are. If we consistently ask and require for our boundaries to be respected we will end up surrounded by people who respect our boundaries.
Someone treating us badly after treating us well can be very confusing. While it may be unclear and uncertain, and while we may need to take chances, one thing is for certain: how other people treat us is a reflection of their character not of ours. Stay consistently yourself and if someone is acting inconsistent don’t question what you may have done wrong -instead question if that inconsistency is something you feel like dealing with.