The fourth episode of season 7 of the show Friends includes a bit where Chandler, Monica and Ross share each others secrets. Laughter and embarrassment ensues. At the end of the episode the trio decide they do not need to tell each other everything. Ross mentions he is going to hang out with people who do not know his secret. Monica replies that he should stay clear of Phoebe.
What can we learn: How people feel about us is not always about us.
If Phoebe reached out to Ross after all this happened, Ross most likely would not be interested in hanging out. If Ross then went to hang out with Joey instead, Phoebe may think it was due to Ross not liking her -even though it is because Ross is embarrassed she knows his secret (spoiler alert: he 💩 himself).
Sometimes when people do not seem to like us or do not make an effort to hang out with us we internalize. We think it is something we did wrong when really it could have nothing to do with us.
People could not like us for many reasons:
- we remind them of something they do not like in themselves
- they feel embarrassed of something they did
- their significant other looks at us “that way”
- we remind them that they gave up on their dreams
- etc.etc. etc.
Whatever the case, it is important for us to continually try to be the best version of ourselves and to not take it personally if someone doesn’t like us or want to hang out.
- Featured image credit: IMDb